Illuminate
by xMissWhitneyBexx
Summary: Lily is struggling to come to terms with her father's death and on top of that, she's being blown at by her colleagues about her actions towards Alicia. All she wants is to recover alone but there is someone stopping her or rather, her heart.
1. Chapter 1

**Lily story taking place after next week's episode when she attends her father's funeral.**

* * *

Lily's POV

I wiped my tears as I entered the ED once again. Only, I had a letter with me.

I was relieved when I saw Connie working on a patient and slipped quietly into her office, placing the letter on her desk. Her name in my cursive handwriting shone as the light from her lamp illuminated it.

After how I behaved today, I believed that there was no longer a place for me at Holby. No one would miss me anyway since they'd be glad to get rid of the 'Ice Princess'.

I sniffed and wiped another tear as I exited the office and walked out the ED. I was about to turn when I heard someone call my name.

"Lily!"

I turned around and smiled at Robyn who was walking along with Max and Lofty. "Robyn, hey."

She smiled sympathetically as she told the guys that she would catch up with them. "Buy me a lemonade, will ya?" she asked Max, handing him some money. We watched them leave and her attention was back on me. "I heard what happened today. I spoke to Alicia and she said that she was fine with it but she didn't look like it-"

"Look if you're going to berate me too for upsetting Dr. Munroe then let me stop you there because I don't want to think about anything today, okay?"

Robyn sighed before closing her eyes and opening them again. "Sorry. Of course. You just went to your dad's funeral, right?"

I nodded, gulping. "Yes."

"I'm sorry for your loss but Lily, I'm sorry to say, you've got to be careful of what you say to others especially when you're upset."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I turned my head to the side and spotted Ethan walking up to us, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Well there won't be a next time anyway." I mumbled. "Goodbye, Robyn."

"'Goodbye'? Why are you saying goodbye?" Robyn asked, her features contorted in confusion.

"Just... goodbye." I whispered, turning back around and walking away from us. I stuffed my hands into my coat pockets and ignored Ethan's calls.

I inwardly groaned when he caught up with me and matched my strides. "You ignored me." he stated.

"What do you want? To give me another lecture on how to respect colleagues and keep my personal matters, personal?" I snapped, tears threatening to fall. "Because if you are, don't. I don't want to listen to another thing about my behaviour today. I don't want to listen to how you all love Alicia and share a common hate for me. Just leave me alone, Ethan. I want to just go home and be alone."

Ethan sighed and gently grabbed my arm, stopping me from walking further. "Sorry I blew up on you like that. I just needed you to understand. I didn't expect you to run out and leave. I know what it feels like to lose a parent. To realise that they aren't going to be there for the big moments in your life any more."

I scoffed. "I really don't care whether or not my dad was there for the big moments in my life. All he did was undermine me, make me think so little of myself. He forced me to become a consultant and when I wanted to become something else, he always seemed ashamed. He talks about his 'doctor daughter' but in reality, he hated my every being. To be honest, I'm glad to be rid of him. I-I..." I burst out crying and Ethan wrapped his arms around my tightly.

"Just let it out." he mumbled.

I didn't know how long I had this waiting to come out. Everything was like I pressed the 'release' button.

I soon realised whose arms I was in and broke the hug, wiping my face with my sleeve. "Sorry." I mumbled.

Ethan shook his head. "It's okay."

I closed my eyes when I remembered that I would never see him again. "Goodbye, Ethan." I sighed.

"What do you mean?" he caught on.

"I'm leaving. I'm leaving Holby City because... I can't recover from this."

Ethan took my hand. "Yes, you can. You helped me recover from my mother's death."

I shook my head. "That's different. You didn't publicly disgrace a colleague. The moment I step through those ED doors, everyone would look at me differently. They won't want to be my friend, or even be in the same breathing space as me. I should just quit while I'm ahead. My dad's dead now so I can do anything I want. I can start anew and-"

"Take me with you."

I stopped rambling and stared at Ethan. "Wh-what?"

He sighed. "Sorry, as stupid and silly as it sounds, take me with you. Ever since I started at Holby, problems have been heading my way from all directions. Now, I find out that Caleb has a kid! With Taylor Ashbie of all people!" he laughed lightly.

I sighed. "Ethan, you can't leave your brother now that he needs you."

"Then you can't leave, either."

I let go of his hand. "Too late. I've signed and given my letter of resignation. And this time, Connie would definitely accept it."

Ethan looked almost heartbroken and I was tempted to ask why but his next words stopped me. "St. James. You can work there."

"Holby City's rival? I really must be signing a death wish." I scoffed.

Ethan sighed. "Lily, please. I don't want you to go. You're the only one who has ever understood me and have lots in common with me. To be honest, I would have chosen you if Honey hadn't come back."

I don't know what possessed me after that but my lips met his and our arms wrapped each other. And it was nice. It illuminated my heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily's POV

When we broke apart, I licked my bottom lip and smoothed down my coat. "I want to get drunk." I found myself saying.

Ethan sighed and looked behind us where I heard a couple of people cheer as they entered the pub. "Not here." he said, grabbing my hand and hailing for a cab.

We found one and got in before Connie could spot me and I quickly told the driver to step on it, watching as Connie's flustered figure tossed and turned - as she tried to look for me - shrinking the further we got away.

We had ended up in a pub out of town and Ethan paid the driver as I got out of the cab and headed inside. I immediately went to the bar and ordered a white wine for myself and a beer for Ethan.

Ethan came in and sat down, smiling his thanks as he sipped on his beer. "Are you going to think about St. James?" he finally asked after finishing half of his beer.

I ordered for another wine and shrugged. "Maybe. I still want to go and try something new and it's close to Holby, I'm bound to get noticed." I replied.

I took a sip of my new wine and sighed, rubbing my head as a headache crept its way onto my head.

Ethan stroked my cheek gently as I smiled thankfully. "Lily, you're a great doctor and any hospital will be at a lost without you. Please, don't waste your godsend talent on just a little blow up."

I gulped the rest of my wine down and bit my lip before answering. "I'll think about it, Ethan. But I'm not making any promises." I whispered. I turned to the barman and gave him my best flirtatious smile. "Got any spare rooms?"

He smirked and winked, totally disregarding Ethan's glare. "Only the best for a pretty girl like you. Single? Double?"

I turned to face Ethan with a smirk playing on my lips. "Double, please."

...

General POV

Connie entered her office with a sigh of relief. She sat down and noticed something shimmering in the dim light. Picking it up, she saw her name written beautifully in cursive.

She rolled her eyes, thinking it was a 'love' note from Jacob from his recovery upstairs. Nonetheless, she opened the letter and skimmed through it to the end where it was signed by 'Lillian Chao'.

A gasp escaped her lips as she quickly threw the letter in the bin and rushed out of her office as fast as her heels could take her. She exited the ED and searched for Lily but she found some of the workers entering the pub and a departing cab. Sighing, she made her way back to her office and slammed the door, making people jump.

...

Lily's POV

I woke up and winced as my head pounded. I turned to the side and saw that it was 4 AM in the morning. Where the hell was I?

I heard a quiet moan and gasped when I saw it was Ethan. I then realised our lack of clothing and blushed furiously, thanking God that he couldn't see, especially in the darkness.

I turned on my lamp and breathed a sigh of relief when Ethan only turned his head to stop the light from getting to his face.

Quietly, I got out of the bed, holding one of the covers around my torso and searched for my clothes. I found a couple of condom wrappers and blushed even more, tearing my embarrassed gaze away from them to continue my search.

Within five minutes, I had found and worn my clothes. Ethan had woken up and sighed as he realised what we did.

"Sorry." he mumbled, blushing.

I looked at him through the mirror and smiled gently. "It's okay. Trust me, it's... okay." I whispered back. "Let's not make it any more awkward than it already-"

"I don't regret it." he told me, starting to get dressed.

"I don't either." I replied, fixing up my hair. "But... I can't..." The words disappeared from my mind but he seemed to catch on.

"I'm not doing this for you to stay. You are still entitled to your decisions, Lily. I just want you to know that I've always had a thing for you."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Same here. I've always had a thing for you, too."

When I opened my eyes, I saw Ethan standing behind me, his shirt still on the floor. He slipped his arms around my waist and I clutched his hands tightly.

"You illuminate my heart." he said.

"No, you're the one who illuminates my heart, soul and world." I told him.


End file.
